Appendix A: Abridged Guide to Evangelicalism as Middle EarthNo Tolkien work ever gets published without a fascinating appendix. So why shouldn’t a review about Tolkien. For those of you who have been struggling to “contextualize” this review into postmodern applications the following is for you. Tolkien detested allegory of all kinds, so please keep in mind this is just a hyper technical, completely accurate application of Tolkien’s world to the modern evangelical scene.
PEOPLE & PLACES
Middle Peoples (Baptists)
The Gray Havens (The Banner of Truth)
The Elves of Rivendell (Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals)
The Elves of Mirkwood (Sovereign Grace Ministries)
Lothlorien (Desiring God Ministries)
Rohan (Southern Baptist Convention)
Meduseld (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary)
Beornings (Founders Movement)
Barrow Downs (Catacombs of Rome)
The Paths of the Dead (Paedobaptism)
The Green Dragon (challies.com)
Quickbeam (Justin Taylor)
Findegil (monergism.com)
Tom Bombadil (RC Sproul)
Farmer Maggot (Phil Johnson/Team Pyro)
Glorfindel (Derek Thomas)
Weathertop (Harvard)
Village of Bree (Redeemer Church Planting Network)
City of Dale (Grace Community Church)
Rhovanion (Nine Marks Ministries)
Arnor (New England Congregationalism)
Blue Mountains (Dutch Calvinism)
Gondor (Presbyterianism)
Osgiliath (Princeton)
Minas Tirith (Old School Presbyterianism)
Minas Morgul(New School Presbyterianism)
Ilithien (Northern Presbyterianism)
Henneth Annun (Tenth Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia)
Dol Amroth (Southern Presbyterianism)
Tirith Aear (First Presbyterian Church of Jackson)
The Dunedain (Twin Lakes Fellowship)
Lossarnach (Second Presbyterian Church of Greenville)
Anduin (Calvinism)
The Argonath (Westminster Standards)
Húrin (Machen)
Red Book of Westmarch (Textus Receptus)
Daeron (Erasmus)
UNHELPFUL
Radagast the Brown (NT Wright)
The Blue Wizards (National Associations of Evangelicals)
Ioreth of the House of Healing (Doug Wilson)
Mines of Moria (Carl McIntire)
Ted Sandyman (Rousas John Rushdooney)
Bill Ferny (Ergun Caner)
BAD
Saruman (Karl Barth)
Isengard (Higher Criticism in general)
Corsairs of Umbar (Emergent Church)
Southrons (Lakewood Church)
The Mumakil (Joel Osteen)
Haradrim (Eastern Orthodoxy)
REALLY BAD
The Nazgul (National Council of Churches)
The Mouth of Sauron (Pope Benedict)
Shelob (Joyce Meyer)
EVENTS
Entmoot (Philadelphia Council on Reformed Theology)
Council of Elrond (Together for the Gospel)
Helm’s Deep (Battle for Inerrancy)
Pelennor Fields (Battle for Imputation)
Defense of Cair Andros (Battle for Complementarianism)
Battle of Bywater (Every committee that has ever dealt with issues of music in worship)
9 comments:
Seen recengtly: Center for Saruman Studies (http://libweb.ptsem.edu/collections/barth/Default.aspx?menu=296&subText=468)
Shelob....tee hee hee!!!
Haha.... that is amazing
Hey Melton,
I really enjoyed the review, and I look forward to reading the book. I also enjoyed the appendix, with only a couple of criticisms. I know some of you have had some difficulties with Caner, but classifying him as really bad along with Joyce Meyer and the likes seems extreme and uncharitable. Why not list Osteen there instead, or Schuller, or Mclaren. Listing a brother along side of heretics is lacking in the very grace we rely on ourselves. Also, what is with listing Doug Wilson as you have? Can you shed some light on that? Aside from that your appendix was neat and creative. I accept being listed among the Rohan as a compliment; and look forward to seeing you next month at Lake Mary.
Very funny, Mel. Glad to have run across this blog, finally.
I like what you have to say here, you may have an ally in my blog. Please come and check out my mission, I think you will be in agreement.
Hilarious!
Just found this blog! I like the name! ;)
Rhett Kelley
Metter GA.
Hey guys -- I think you're supposed to post at least once a year....
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